Thursday, September 1, 2011
A Busy Summer
This summer, I got a job for OU's radio station, WXOU, redesigned their website, participated in 6 films including one of my own, won a screenwriting competition, edited my film and submitted it to Sundance, and submitted my winning screenplay to a film production company. What have you done? :)
Saturday, June 25, 2011
"Right and Wrong" Screenplay: Contest Winner!
In April, Dr Kyle Edwards, director of the Cinema Studies program at Oakland University announced the 2010-2011 Writing Competition. The contest was divided into two categories, screenplays and essays. I entered the screenplay I wrote in my Screenwriting class during the Winter I had just finished.
Although I had moments of self-doubt, I had a feeling from the moment I submitted it that I'd win.
I found out on Friday, June 24th, that's exactly what happened: I won first place in the screenplay side of things! Interestingly enough, a friend of mine won second place in the essay portion! God I love writing!
For the interested, the short story version is available for about $1.00 on the Kindle and the Nook!
Although I had moments of self-doubt, I had a feeling from the moment I submitted it that I'd win.
I found out on Friday, June 24th, that's exactly what happened: I won first place in the screenplay side of things! Interestingly enough, a friend of mine won second place in the essay portion! God I love writing!
For the interested, the short story version is available for about $1.00 on the Kindle and the Nook!
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Friday, April 22, 2011
A Thousand Steps A Day, A Thousand Days To You
Some days are easier than others. Some days I only need to see your smile to feel fulfilled, sustained. Some days, I only need to know that you're out there, and that you might be thinking of me. I know we haven't yet discussed our future, but on these days I can feel that we have a future.
Then there are other days, those like today. While it's true that we've exchanged kind words this day, it has been fairly difficult for me to make it through this day. Today, this moment, I could use your company, but you're far, far away.
There are a thousand steps in each day. A thousand problems. A thousand difficulties. A thousand struggles. Each day, I make my way through these things, doing the best I can to solve them. Most of the time, the battles I fight are simple ones: solving problems, doing homework, getting to class on time. Then there are the big battles: the ones where I wonder about you, who you're seeing, what you're doing, and whether you care about me the way I care about you. I fight the battles of self-doubt daily, and I try to assure myself that if you didn't love me, you'd have told me to leave you alone. Sometimes I win those battles, sometimes I don't.
Either way, I endure those battles, those steps, one at a time, a thousand times a day.
Each day, I want to point you out, and make it clear to everyone that it's you I love. Each day is in itself a step towards the future, a step closer to the earliest day I can see you again.
Each day, each filled with a thousand steps, gets me closer to you. It's already been more than a thousand days since I last saw your smiling face in person, and it feels like it'll be a thousand days until I see it again. But I swear to you, that unless you don't wish to see me, that it will be less than 100 until that day arrives.
Each day is still a thousand steps. Each day is a thousand battles. I will endure them. I will fight the battles. I will win where I can, and I will suffer where I can't. But I will see you again, and we shall see what we shall see.
Then there are other days, those like today. While it's true that we've exchanged kind words this day, it has been fairly difficult for me to make it through this day. Today, this moment, I could use your company, but you're far, far away.
There are a thousand steps in each day. A thousand problems. A thousand difficulties. A thousand struggles. Each day, I make my way through these things, doing the best I can to solve them. Most of the time, the battles I fight are simple ones: solving problems, doing homework, getting to class on time. Then there are the big battles: the ones where I wonder about you, who you're seeing, what you're doing, and whether you care about me the way I care about you. I fight the battles of self-doubt daily, and I try to assure myself that if you didn't love me, you'd have told me to leave you alone. Sometimes I win those battles, sometimes I don't.
Either way, I endure those battles, those steps, one at a time, a thousand times a day.
Each day, I want to point you out, and make it clear to everyone that it's you I love. Each day is in itself a step towards the future, a step closer to the earliest day I can see you again.
Each day, each filled with a thousand steps, gets me closer to you. It's already been more than a thousand days since I last saw your smiling face in person, and it feels like it'll be a thousand days until I see it again. But I swear to you, that unless you don't wish to see me, that it will be less than 100 until that day arrives.
Each day is still a thousand steps. Each day is a thousand battles. I will endure them. I will fight the battles. I will win where I can, and I will suffer where I can't. But I will see you again, and we shall see what we shall see.
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Going All In
I don't know if I mentioned this before, here at least, but a short script I wrote for the OU Filmmaker's Guild was selected for production. Next week we'll be holding auditions, and shooting in the second half of May. I hold no illusions that this will make me rich — there's no money involved in this at all! — but it's a good start towards what I want to do professionally. I'll let you know more as it happens, but I've set up a blog specifically for my insights of the film making process at http://allin.anevilgeni.us.
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Know Thy Heart
"To thine own self be true" Polonius said to his son Laertes in Hamlet meaning that one should always be honest to him or her self. One can interpret that to mean to be true in your dealings with yourself as well as others, but I choose to simplest, and perhaps most honest, interpretation: to know and understand myself.
I long ago pledged to be the best me I could be. Many times I've chosen honesty over lies even when the outcome would not be favorable to myself. Many times I've stayed true to my word when I could have gotten away with breaking it. I would be a liar indeed if I swore that I've always done these things. But I have managed to maintain the scales in such a way that I have done more positive, more honest works in this world than I have done negative, and I will continue to do so.
I do it not because I desire to be better than anyone else. I'm not, and never shall be. I feel temptation and darkness just as everyone does. But I choose to try to do the right thing because it's right, and not for any reward. I choose to be a better me because it's what I want.
I know my heart, and I encourage you to know yours.
I long ago pledged to be the best me I could be. Many times I've chosen honesty over lies even when the outcome would not be favorable to myself. Many times I've stayed true to my word when I could have gotten away with breaking it. I would be a liar indeed if I swore that I've always done these things. But I have managed to maintain the scales in such a way that I have done more positive, more honest works in this world than I have done negative, and I will continue to do so.
I do it not because I desire to be better than anyone else. I'm not, and never shall be. I feel temptation and darkness just as everyone does. But I choose to try to do the right thing because it's right, and not for any reward. I choose to be a better me because it's what I want.
I know my heart, and I encourage you to know yours.
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Hold Faith
There's a lot going on the world right now. Wars, recovery from multiple earthquakes and tsunamis, "everyday" problems, and a lot of it seems bigger than life right now. There are positives and negatives at war in my own life, and in those of my closest family and friends. I can't solve everything, and often I feel like I can't even solve anything at all, but I'm holding faith that God will fix it all. God is almighty, God is all knowing, God is all merciful. Keep the faith, people! Keep the faith!
Monday, March 14, 2011
Friday, March 11, 2011
8.9 Quake in Japan
My thoughts and prayers go out to Japan in the wake of this massive earthquake and tsunami, and to all others affected and will be affected by the tsunami.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Good News for Me
This is generally meaningless as it pertains to me, but it gives me hope about the career path I've decided to pursue. As you might have guessed from my previous post, I want to be a screenwriter. Well, my screenwriting teacher apparently just sold a script! The part that makes me a bit giddy is that she really likes my work...! So, get on with it! Throw me some freelance work!
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Freelance Screenwriting
Ok, since I have financial needs that aren't currently being met and I want and need experience, I'm making myself available as a freelance screenwriter. I'm not limiting myself to any particular genre, topic, or anything else and I'm willing to either do scripts solo or collaborate. If interested, please contact me via my An Evil Genius web site.
Sunday, March 6, 2011
New Life
When my marriage ended, I stopped believing that I could or would want to be in another relationship for the remainder of my life. A good part of me felt that because I gave it everything I had the first time around, that I couldn't find myself getting just as invested in another relationship. Or that I wouldn't want to. I more or less resigned myself to being alone, just as I had been before I met my ex.
While I've been surviving that way for the last few years, I can't honestly say I've been alive during that time. I'll be the first to admit that I'm not perfect, and one of the areas in which I'm weak is actually building relationships of any kind with other people. I'm a paradox: I desire strong bonds with others yet I'm somewhat incapable of building those bonds except with a relatively small group of people. That's why my friends are the best friends anyone could ever want, but also why I have so few. It's not that I'm not an easy person to get along with; I have a lot of acquaintances and people that I'm on really good terms with, but there are few with whom I share that critical bond. Knowing that, how could I possibly find another woman with whom I could establish that and an even stronger bond?
There's also my anti-social tendencies. I can't go any further without mentioning them. It's very rare for me to be mean to anyone, or even to just show my anger or dislike, but often when I'm in public I'm fighting an urge to get away from everyone around me. There's a strange kind of pressure that I feel in public that makes me feel extremely uncomfortable. This pressure seems to grow disproportionately to the size of the crowd; in a crowd of thousands, I can blend in, but in a group of a dozen or two, I feel like I stand out and that everyone is aware of me. And not in a good way. It makes me want to crawl into a shell and hide. So can you imagine how I feel one on one?
I said that to say this: if I feel like hiding in an average sized group, and I really, really feel uncomfortable in a one on one situation, how could I possibly find the strength and courage at my age to date again? To go out and find that special woman that I could spend the rest of my life with?
That's been the crux of my expectations that I would be alone for the rest of my life. Yes, I know these are some serious psychological issues, and I've been aware of them and working on them myself (by myself) for decades. As anyone can see by the fact that I have been married, I have lead a fairly good life in public, and that I am getting ready to head into my senior year of college (nearly 20 years late) that I am capable of overcoming my weaknesses and failings. Having the strength to do so is sometimes a challenge, but I do it regularly. So why did I doubt that I could do it again for something so important?
I was tired. I looked to the future and saw myself declining in every way imaginable, and I couldn't see myself getting strong enough to overcome my issues enough to find anyone else. That's not even counting how a potential mate might see me, so I was ready to give up on that part of my life. Now, in the interests of full disclosure, that doesn't mean I actually did give up: I joined a dating site or two, and I've made some good and important friends at Oakland University, but there wasn't and isn't a single woman among them that I thought I might have a future with. I could still be wrong, the future is ever shifting, but at least at the moment, it doesn't matter.
The reason it doesn't matter, is that God had other plans for me. Out of my past, a young woman that I had established a strong bond with, came rushing back into my life. It wasn't a conscious act on her part. Or mine really. I started dreaming about her regularly, and though we had already been friends on a social site or two for years, I found that I couldn't stop reading her posts.
This last week, things shifted between us, and I find that we are now walking together towards a future that could be very bright and what each of us has needed and wanted. We haven't formally declared our relationship yet, but it's abundantly clear to me that she cares just as deeply about me as I do about her. I don't know what the future holds for us, but I'm embracing this new life as full heartedly as I can. Maybe it will last, maybe it won't, but I'm taking it day by day with love in my heart.
While I've been surviving that way for the last few years, I can't honestly say I've been alive during that time. I'll be the first to admit that I'm not perfect, and one of the areas in which I'm weak is actually building relationships of any kind with other people. I'm a paradox: I desire strong bonds with others yet I'm somewhat incapable of building those bonds except with a relatively small group of people. That's why my friends are the best friends anyone could ever want, but also why I have so few. It's not that I'm not an easy person to get along with; I have a lot of acquaintances and people that I'm on really good terms with, but there are few with whom I share that critical bond. Knowing that, how could I possibly find another woman with whom I could establish that and an even stronger bond?
There's also my anti-social tendencies. I can't go any further without mentioning them. It's very rare for me to be mean to anyone, or even to just show my anger or dislike, but often when I'm in public I'm fighting an urge to get away from everyone around me. There's a strange kind of pressure that I feel in public that makes me feel extremely uncomfortable. This pressure seems to grow disproportionately to the size of the crowd; in a crowd of thousands, I can blend in, but in a group of a dozen or two, I feel like I stand out and that everyone is aware of me. And not in a good way. It makes me want to crawl into a shell and hide. So can you imagine how I feel one on one?
I said that to say this: if I feel like hiding in an average sized group, and I really, really feel uncomfortable in a one on one situation, how could I possibly find the strength and courage at my age to date again? To go out and find that special woman that I could spend the rest of my life with?
That's been the crux of my expectations that I would be alone for the rest of my life. Yes, I know these are some serious psychological issues, and I've been aware of them and working on them myself (by myself) for decades. As anyone can see by the fact that I have been married, I have lead a fairly good life in public, and that I am getting ready to head into my senior year of college (nearly 20 years late) that I am capable of overcoming my weaknesses and failings. Having the strength to do so is sometimes a challenge, but I do it regularly. So why did I doubt that I could do it again for something so important?
I was tired. I looked to the future and saw myself declining in every way imaginable, and I couldn't see myself getting strong enough to overcome my issues enough to find anyone else. That's not even counting how a potential mate might see me, so I was ready to give up on that part of my life. Now, in the interests of full disclosure, that doesn't mean I actually did give up: I joined a dating site or two, and I've made some good and important friends at Oakland University, but there wasn't and isn't a single woman among them that I thought I might have a future with. I could still be wrong, the future is ever shifting, but at least at the moment, it doesn't matter.
The reason it doesn't matter, is that God had other plans for me. Out of my past, a young woman that I had established a strong bond with, came rushing back into my life. It wasn't a conscious act on her part. Or mine really. I started dreaming about her regularly, and though we had already been friends on a social site or two for years, I found that I couldn't stop reading her posts.
This last week, things shifted between us, and I find that we are now walking together towards a future that could be very bright and what each of us has needed and wanted. We haven't formally declared our relationship yet, but it's abundantly clear to me that she cares just as deeply about me as I do about her. I don't know what the future holds for us, but I'm embracing this new life as full heartedly as I can. Maybe it will last, maybe it won't, but I'm taking it day by day with love in my heart.
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Too Much Energy or My Pointless Rebellion
Today I'm digging myself into a hole for no good reason. I should be studying for a midterm tomorrow, but I really don't feel like it. I could be critiquing stories for another class, but don't feel like doing that either. I could even just be working on a super short story for yet another class, but it keeps bringing me back to Ms. M., with whom I've been in touch over the last few days. In truth, I really feel like a stalker right now, and I'm not ashamed of it. :-)
I haven't been out of her life because she didn't want me in it, we were just not available to one another at the time. Now, though... Things have changed, and something keeps drawing me back to her. After my open letter last year, I had managed to get her off my mind, and I did manage to get over her at long last, but these last couple of weeks have put her back on my mind, and I can't help but think that God's hands are at work once again, and some of the things that M. said... Well, let's just say that I believe God is at work here. M., if you're reading this, I think you're my angel!
Today I find myself too easily distracted by the possibilities of doing something else, and I'm doing nothing but digging myself a hole with regards to school. Maybe it's because I think that no matter what I do today, I'll come out all right. Maybe it's that I think I'm in love, and have been further encouraged by a few simple words. Maybe I just have too damned much energy that I should go burn off at the gym... I don't know, but I know I should be more concerned about the immediate, the midterm I have tomorrow, than I am. But it's irrelevant.
P.S. Remind me of that when I'm repeating this course... ;-)
I haven't been out of her life because she didn't want me in it, we were just not available to one another at the time. Now, though... Things have changed, and something keeps drawing me back to her. After my open letter last year, I had managed to get her off my mind, and I did manage to get over her at long last, but these last couple of weeks have put her back on my mind, and I can't help but think that God's hands are at work once again, and some of the things that M. said... Well, let's just say that I believe God is at work here. M., if you're reading this, I think you're my angel!
Today I find myself too easily distracted by the possibilities of doing something else, and I'm doing nothing but digging myself a hole with regards to school. Maybe it's because I think that no matter what I do today, I'll come out all right. Maybe it's that I think I'm in love, and have been further encouraged by a few simple words. Maybe I just have too damned much energy that I should go burn off at the gym... I don't know, but I know I should be more concerned about the immediate, the midterm I have tomorrow, than I am. But it's irrelevant.
P.S. Remind me of that when I'm repeating this course... ;-)
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Missing Life
Some might argue that I'm preparing for life by going back to school. Some would say that it's the right thing for me to be doing in this economy. Usually I'd be saying these things myself, because they're logical and carry wisdom. But today, I just can't stop thinking about the parts of life I'm missing, and wondering about paths not taken, and a woman I left unkissed.
Friday, February 4, 2011
KillZone 3
In case I fail to make it clear elsewhere, the KillZone 3 beta is awesome! If you own a PS3 and you like first person shooters, grab the beta and check it out!
In all likelihood, I'll be posting a review at HTTP://anevilgeni.us before the weekend is out.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
AnEvilGeni.us
I've been quiet about this site until now because I had hoped that it would grow into its own without blatant plugs elsewhere, but that didn't happen. Now I'm taking the site in a different direction, and I'm being a lot more active with it, so I urge anyone that happens to visit my blog here, to checkout AnEvilGeni.us!
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