Monday, June 22, 2009

I Need Change

Today is my 37th birthday.
In my life I have gone many places, done many things, but ultimately, I have accomplished very little. I have been to and through most of the 48 continental states in the U.S., went to Japan when I was in high school, been married for 8 years, and I have a nearly 3 year old son. But as far as accomplishments are concerned, I can only say that I graduated from high school, 19 years ago.
I need a change. I need a career, not a job. I need to find the love of my life, not just a woman that will love me for a while. I need to be successful.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Great Idea!

In my lifetime of making critical tactical errors with my life, I have occasionally managed to do the right thing at the right time. Years ago, I managed to graduate from high school on time despite failing economics in the first semester. I managed to get hired at Be Incorporated just as my life at Scantron was really beginning to fall apart. And through it all, I've managed to acquire some kick ass, if admittedly strange, friends; some of which are closer to me than most of my blood relatives.

However, I have managed to screw myself over with some pretty horrible jobs. I'm not going to name names or go into any details, but in all honesty, I've hated my last three jobs though the last one started out pretty well.

To bring you slightly up to speed, I decided at the end of last year while working on a project for my now former employer, that I was going to quit. The project's requirements kept shifting as I was doing the development work, and it seemed like every time I completed a section of it, the client would change their minds on what they wanted. Needless to say I got pissed off because there wasn't a damned thing I could do about it. I needed the money, I did the job. Months later when they wanted things changed significantly again, I refused, but only because technically I was no longer an employee of the company I had worked for: I was now doing work as needed as an independent contractor. That's not to say I had a contract, but I wasn't on the books as an employee any more.

This working arrangement was my boss's idea since he wasn't getting paid regularly by his clients any more, and he couldn't afford to keep me around as a full time employee. Or so he said. So I agreed to the new terms, but warned him that I was going to have to look for other employment to meet my needs. I dropped from making $653 per week down to maybe $100 if I was lucky, and I was almost never paid on time.

This kept pissing me off, more and more, and even though I had decided to quit my job already, I didn't because I needed what little money was coming in.

Two weeks ago it all came to a head. I couldn't take the bullshit I was being handed any more (yes, lots of details have been left out), and I quit last week.

So, now I officially have no job, no income, and no money. I have bills coming due, and frankly I don't know what the hell to do. I'm really hoping and praying for a miracle while I sit here and apply for jobs. God, if you're listening, I need your flood of blessings that Joel Osteen raved about!

I've applied to some good jobs, ones that I believe I can get, but I have this underlying fear that I could be out of work for months again... It was another great idea of mine to quit my job in the middle of a recession, in the state with the highest unemployment rate in the country!