We all know how tough life can be, and that sometimes it's really un-fucking-fair, but from now on, I'm going to try to stay positive instead of letting myself get dragged into the negativeness and pragmatism that I normally live in. As such, I deleted the "Wow... I'm Impressed" entry from this blog, and will try not to let another negative post make it here.
Obviously, at some point, something major and negative will happen, but I'm going to do my best to see the bright side of it, if there is one. If I can't, then if I decide to post about it at all, I'll just stick to the facts and try to leave my emotions out of the picture.
The reason this is coming about is that my mother this week stated that I was being too negative that I don't ever think positively. She said that after I told her that I was going to file for financial aide at Oakland University just in case the scholarship through the Detroit Workforce Development Department fell through. I looked at it as covering my bases to make sure that I could go to school this Fall, she looked at it as me expecting to not get the scholarship.
We didn't get into a real discussion on the issue, but obviously our perceptions were different. As a result, it's been on my mind all week, and I've put some thought in to it. Normally, I do try to prepare myself for the worst possible outcomes because it's been rare that anything in my life has ever gone according to plan, and even rarer for the best possible outcome to occur. So I've become pragmatic; I've tried to make sure that in the event of the worst possible outcome, that things will still be ok. Maybe I'm not being as positive as I could be, but repeated disappointments throughout my life have left me in a position where I don't want any more of them, and I stopped getting my hopes up.
This has got to change. So, I'm going to try to be positive once again. I'm going to try to get my hopes (and faith) up again, and rely on my God, skills and abilities, family and friends, and all other things to make things right.
So in that spirit, have a great day!